Metah

Early History

Metah was founded, claimed, and named by our glorious savior Michael Metah shortly after the nuclear annhilation of the entire United States, but it would take generations further to transform Metah from a radioactive wasteland into Former America's leading memory foam pillow exporter.

Realizing that, much like a Mexican-work-ethic-powered tractor, Metah's soil was worthless for agricultural purposes, Michael Metah proposed a different plan: fill burlap sacks with dirt and sell them to retards.

This is the business model upon which the small country of Metah had built its economy.

Metah would eventually sell enough pillows to purchase crude weapons, that he and his 78 living citizens used to fight the local wolf packs over charred scraps of animal flesh.

Through superior engineering and tactics however, the Wolves won and Metah was forced to retreat his dwindling forces into the next county over, which he declared to be the capital city of Metah. He named this city Utah, because Michael Metah was not a creative man.

Michael and his followers survived by selling more pillows and scouring the dirt for hordes of roaches they could eat until, on his 35th birthday, Michael died, passing down his kingdom to his son, Michael Metah II.

Michael Metah Jr continued his father's business, selling pillows and eating roaches, until he had doubled his country's population from 58 to 116. Feeling quite sure of his numbers, Michael Metah the second stormed the area where the wolves had been, only to find that all of them had died of radiation poisoning.

Instantly the business skills he'd gotten from his father kicked in, and he started using wolf pelts instead of burlap. His sales tripled, and by the end of the decade Metah's economy and population were booming.

Confident that his business could be looked after by his son Matthew Metah, Michael 2 devoted his life to science and politics, eventually inventing the first children's pretend telephone, by using a real telephone another better country had already invented as a template.

Accomplishments

In addition to having multiple awards for 'Best Ice Cream' Metah is also the torture capital of the world, having invented and perfected thousabds of different kinds of cruel and unusual punishment.

It won two gold medals in the first ever Neo Olympics, held by the Western Allied Fortress, of which Metah is not a part.

Reinvented Crocs.

Government

A fascist dictatorship through and through, Metah takes mistreating your citizens to exemplary new heights. Despite this fact, Metah has a strong economy, and remains completely neutral as a rule. Metah famously declined an offer to join the Western Allies, or whatever they're called, their current leader, Mark "Campbell" Metah has famously stated "Metah is neutral."

Metah currently operates as a trade-based economy, with its only homegrown escorts being luxurious pillows and delicious ice cream. It is because of this that Utah refuses to attack another country unless thoroughly revoked. Ice Cream melts in the heat of battle.

Military

Metah's military might has been expanded upon significantly since the days of paper clips and rubber bands. They now mostly use catapults because those things are really cool.

We also have one airplane.

NorthEastern Expansion

Metah has recently expanded to the Northeast, since it seems this direction would ruffle the fewest feathers.